there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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