I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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