Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
why is half of my head shaved?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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