So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
