I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
