You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
