quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
