Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
