I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
