Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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