I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
