I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
