mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
