That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
there is glitter all over my balls
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
