I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
