of course. lets lasso hookers.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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