we have officially lost it.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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