first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
