My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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