Your face is a jimmy john
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
