the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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