I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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