I queefed so loud it echoed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
