Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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