You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
