Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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