I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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