we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
