Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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