dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
