summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
His nipple licking is glorious
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