my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think a kid would responsible me up
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
