Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
