i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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