No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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