Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
