so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
