After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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