So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
