The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
