If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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