But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
