You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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