AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
