i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
