If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
