their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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