Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
