just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
