farters have to be the big spoon...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I need water and some morals
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
