i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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