we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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